When The World Stopped

I’m not really writing this for now. I’m writing it to remember, in the years that come, and when I’m (hopefully) telling my children and maybe grandchildren about it, what the world was like during the COVID-19 pandemic. We’re living through it now, but I have no doubt that one day this will be taught to children in schools as part of their history lessons. I want to remember what it was like to be in it, rather than just the selective bits my memory holds onto in years to come.

Only 4 short weeks ago, we woke up to the news that a virus that had seemed mostly distant and irrelevant, had arrived in Surrey. Haslemere to be precise. And the man who caught it hadn’t traveled abroad or interacted with anyone who was showing symptoms. We were worried, and started thinking about sensible precautions. I thought we were over-reacting, but Ollie thought we should be on the safe side. So we made sure we had some paracetamol in the house that wasn’t out of date, and doubled up on a few of our meals to ensure the freezer held a few spare meals. We tried to top up our hand sanitiser stocks, but so did the rest of Godalming so we couldn’t buy any. We put the one bottle we did have by the front door and made sure we sanitised our hands every time we came into the house. Little did we know how tiny these measure were compared to what was to come.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and Josh and I had a cold. Nothing major, just a winter bug, but it came with a bit of a cough and the government was asking everyone with a cough or fever to stay at home for a week, so that meant no nursery and no trips out. Never mind we thought, it’s only a week. Then the government extended it to 2 weeks, and not just those with symptoms but everyone at home. O well, just another week and then we can be out and about, we thought.

Our 14 day self-isolation period is over now, but that’s pretty irrelevant as the whole country, and a large portion of the rest of the world, is on lockdown. On Monday night, everything changed, for everyone. Everything that wasn’t essential just stopped. Just like that. Our family has stricter rules than most because I’m immunocompromised. That means I don’t leave the house or garden, and won’t for at least 12 weeks. Ollie does occasionally for some exercise (but no more than once per day, and he’s not allowed to be within 2 metres of anyone while he does it). Lockdown isn’t so bad for us. There are 4 of us, and toddlers are pretty good at entertaining the whole household, or at least keeping us busy. Certainly there isn’t the boredom issue that lots of people have. And we have a garden, which really helps. But there are still a lot of changes, beyond the obvious one of not going out.

We can’t go shopping. Which it turns out I really miss. I’m only talking grocery shopping here. But I’ve actually struggled with not being able to go to the shops and choose the precise bits of food I’m going to cook. I’ve found it hard to ask someone else to do that for me. We’re having to lean pretty heavily on our family. My in-laws are also in lockdown of course, but they’re allowed to go out to buy groceries, so they buy ours as well, and pick up prescriptions. Today they brought our food order to the door, and we spoke through the window. My son chased his grandmother round the house, although today he was inside and she was outside. It was nice to see them, but it didn’t exactly replace really seeing them. And for a little boy, nothing can really replace a hug from his grandma.

Interactions with friends and family are all on Skype / Duo now, or through a closed door. My son got pretty sad this morning when I told him that although his grandparents were bringing us food, they wouldn’t be staying for lunch. Instead they went home and joined us remotely, via a video call. And we’re extra careful with deliveries. We open them on the doorstep and take the cardboard straight to the bin, then we wash our hands before touching anything else. Similar procedure with the post. At this point, I’m just grateful we can still get deliveries.

For the time-being, and no one really seems to know how long this is actually for, we’re living in a different world. No friends round, no nights out (not that those were happening with a 4-month old baby in the house), most things you’d actually want from the shops out of stock… No baby and toddler groups, no nursery, no trips to the park. No unplanned breakfasts out, or lazy coffee shop trips, or even nipping out to buy bread.

There’s a lot missing from all our lives at the moment. But in the hole that these things have left, we’re all starting to find other things. Yesterday we set up a “cafe” in our garden. I spent 3.5 hours gardening with the kids. Ollie’s going to build a sandpit. For 2 weeks we’ve eaten every meal together as a family, at the kitchen table. My family are much more active on the family Whatsapp group, so we’re actually communicating more, even if only remotely. We’re waiting nervously to find out if the social distancing / lockdown measures are going to be enough to allow the NHS to operate effectively and not be completely and utterly swamped with patients. But in the meantime, as the sun shines and we spend more time with our kids, we’re enjoying life. It’s going to get worse, tougher, and most likely we’re all going to suffer losses. But while we wait, we live, we laugh, and we enjoy our little bubble. We protect our health and we make memories.

And in the midst of this crisis, as the whole world battles together, there’s also a lot of normal still going on. We’re still learning how to operate as a family of 4. We’re still encouraging our toddler to use the potty and coaxing our baby girl through her 4 month sleep regression. We cook meals, sing nursery rhymes and play with trains. I do wonder what stage they’ll be at when we emerge from isolation, and how much they’ll have to relearn about the outside world. But in the meantime, their development continues and we enjoy watching it (or, in the case of the sleep regression, pray fervently that it will end soon!).

If anyone has made it to the end of this blog post, I’d love to hear about your new normals. About what you’re missing and what you’ve found in this time of isolation. Please comment below if you fancy sharing. Keep safe, stay home, and we can’t wait to see you on the other side.